I'm an asshole

(Be warned...)

Apparently, sometimes I come across as a huge asshole. The funny part is....sometimes I really am a huge asshole.

My landlord is renting out her garage as an artist studio. That is really cool, I love that people provide a space away from home for artists to work. I have rented such spaces and it had a huge impact on my music and photography.

Here's where I become the lame "square" asshole. The dude that is renting the space is an "artist". He uses his space as a place for his buddies and him to get drunk. A place for his downtown sidewalk buddies to crash. A place for he and his buddies to listen to some sweet tunes. Then in his free time he works on his "art".

So the first week he is in the studio he introduces himself, "Hey! I'm Joe Artist, and I hear you're a drummer, I bet you got alot of nice shit in your house!" I'm not lying or exaggerating. My insides instantly turn black and red.

Next week: I have someone over to my house and I'm playing some music and 2 of his buddies knock on my door and ask me for: Beer, Cigarettes, and an extension cord. My insides turn into a mix of Patton and Sherman.

Next Day: "Dude, thanks for the beers last night, can you sell us a bottle of wine?

3 minutes later: "Corkscrew? Wine Glasses?" When I offered some paper cups, the friend responded, "I thought I saw some wine glasses in here last night." My insides turn into a campfire being pissed on, while burning a skunk, in a prison cell, where I'm trying to sleep off a hangover, after waking up next to a fat chick.

I would talk to my landlord. She would be really cool about it. I would be very adamant that I hate to be "that guy" and I don't want him to know that I'm "that guy". But, sometimes being an asshole also means you are kind of a pussy.

7 this morning: While outside. 28 degrees. Sweatpants, no shirt. Watching my dog take a shit. "Dude, I need some water."
"Huh?"
"Water."
"Huh? Wha?"
"Dude! Waaaaateeerr!"
I request something to put the water in, he hands me a lidless Gatorade bottle and an empty Steel Reserve can.
"Dude, my name's Joe Artist, do you live around here?"
"Dude, we have met, I'm Travis, I'm your neighbor..."

Jupiter slams in to Saturn while fingering Neptune.

"If you would just leave your door unlocked, I could just get the water myself."

Holy. Shit. My insides turn to dust and from the dust rises a geyser of menstrual blood and ejaculate that I'm riding on top of like Yogi Bear in Jellystone.

(I figure I'm the asshole here, because I would rather tell a shit load of random people about this than take care of the problem like an adult)