Eating in the Car

Picture yourself on a road trip with some friends or family....after hours in the car and a stop at a road side gas station, you jump back into the car...

Passenger #1: "So Passenger #2, what did you get to eat?"

Passenger #2: "Just some Snickers and a donut, what did you get?"

Passenger #1: "Red Rope licorice and some Gatorade. What about you, Passenger #3?"

Passenger #3: "Some plain chips, Lifesavers, and a bottled water."

Passenger #1: "Hey Trav, did you get anything?"

Travis: "Yes! 2 corndogs, Funyuns, Ranch CornNuts, Gardettos with Rye Chips, a taquito, and a gallon of Coca-cola with a straw!"

I try not to be that guy. You know, crunchy loudly on whatever garlic and ass flavored gem I can find in a plastic bag at TownPump. Anything labeled "Italian Style" or "New Bold Flavor" are likely to make your trip with friends, stressful. So there I am, in the back looking at the hot dogs, polish sausages, and bratwurst, like a dog next to the family barbeque. "Wow! They even have little packets of Onions!" I have also never been afraid to try the corndogs, burritos, chicken tenders, or onion rings they have simmering for weeks next to the cash register. I've even tried the "Hamburger Link". Which, by the way, is a hotdog shaped hamburger they have turning in the machine with the other hotdog shaped hotdogs. I put that shit-shaped-delicacy on a bun and made noises like a prison rape in the back of the van. Before I go any farther, we need to address the Beef Jerky situation. Whether it is in a bag, in a self serve container (with or with out tongs), in a "puck", or in a six-foot-whip, I'm buying it. One of my greatest Montana-pit-stop finds, was the "4-foot-long-one-inch-thick-peppered-teryaki-He-Man-Monster-meat-stick". Thank you TownPump of Rocker, Montana. I actually had to hang it out the window to keep the driver from losing his jalapeno-chili-southwestern-style-corndog all over the dash. Now comes the time when I need to wash this all down. I will usually pick up the largest bottled water and whatever behemoth size of Coke they offer. The 96 ounce cup is the biggest I've seen, so far. Depending on the time of day, I will also pick from the selection of 24 ounce beers.

Grab a couple of straws and no napkins and I'm ready for the next stop.