Friday, December 28, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Sorry...
It is totally lame to write in my blog about how I'm not writing in my blog, but I need to inform y'all of the photo series that I'm putting up here in a couple of days....can you say bathroom art?
Monday, December 3, 2007
So Fresh and So Clean Clean
Tide, Clorox, Snuggle
washer, dryer, hangers, fold
waiting, sitting, hum
I love doing my laundry. I take great pride in the the separation process, the wash cycle, and the folding system. You know the feeling you get when you walk in to Rockin' Rudy's on a busy Saturday, that is what it is like inside my head. Just like my friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors, even I need a break from me. I value the 2 hours of laundry that I do nothing but stare at the clear window of drying shirts and jeans. I enjoy the time to sit on a running washer and kick my legs back and forth. I just want to relax and kick back with the hum of the machines.
excuse me, sorry?
are those your dryer sheets?
can I use your soap?
So, you're sitting at home thinking about all that laundry you have to do. You put it all in the baskets and bags, and put it into the back seat of the car. You've got quarters and your new book. You are about to start your car. Wait! Do me a god-damned favor and stop. Stop and think. What else do you need? What are you missing? Soap, Detergent, El Washero Fluido. Grab it from your house or pick some up on the way, because if you ask me for some, I will snap. I know you don't want to buy the single serving of soap out of the vending machine for 12 bucks, but neither do I, that is why I brought soap with me. Luckily, some of the laundry mats in town now offer free soap. The last time someone asked me for soap, before I could start the rant, the woman with 11 loads said, "Ugh!, I hate that kind of soap!"
sneak, tug, roll away
is this one yours? just a sec!
five to one baskets
There are 20 people using 40 washers and dryers, taking up 13 tables. All the while, watching ONE TV and "sharing" FOUR rolling baskets. There is no better social experiment then watching 20 people watch something on TV they all hate, at the risk that someone else is enjoying the program. Listen ma'am, nobody likes the 700 Club, but you. So, if you manage to tear yourself away from Fox News to move your laundry from the washer to the dryer, now you will have to find a basket with wheels. No one wants to use their own flimsy plastic basket for this job, it sits on the floor for god's sake! You've had that thing since freshmen year, it is for getting the clothes to and from the laundry mat and for moving your kitchen shit from apartment to apartment, only. Now, if you find a basket that is not holding (or being held by) someone's coat, purse, and laundry stuff, you grab that thing and don't look back. Throw your clothes in it, ride it around, put a bike lock on it. Every once in a while we make mistakes. I asked a woman if she was using a "free" basket, she said "Not right this second, if you need it for a minute, I don't need it for 10 minutes." She let me "borrow" the basket, only for her to follow me to my washer and dryer and watch as if suddenly I was going to "David Copperfield" the basket out from under her and she would be left to fend for herself. After the last trip, "Are you done?" She then took the basket back to her spot in front of "Family Feud" and the latest Mary Higgins Clark trash, where it sat unused for 20 minutes.
fold the t-shirts, hang
the pants, ball the socks, buttons
zippers, pockets, pink!
The next time I do my laundry I'm turning the TV to the local access channel and using 2 baskets for myself.
washer, dryer, hangers, fold
waiting, sitting, hum
I love doing my laundry. I take great pride in the the separation process, the wash cycle, and the folding system. You know the feeling you get when you walk in to Rockin' Rudy's on a busy Saturday, that is what it is like inside my head. Just like my friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors, even I need a break from me. I value the 2 hours of laundry that I do nothing but stare at the clear window of drying shirts and jeans. I enjoy the time to sit on a running washer and kick my legs back and forth. I just want to relax and kick back with the hum of the machines.
excuse me, sorry?
are those your dryer sheets?
can I use your soap?
So, you're sitting at home thinking about all that laundry you have to do. You put it all in the baskets and bags, and put it into the back seat of the car. You've got quarters and your new book. You are about to start your car. Wait! Do me a god-damned favor and stop. Stop and think. What else do you need? What are you missing? Soap, Detergent, El Washero Fluido. Grab it from your house or pick some up on the way, because if you ask me for some, I will snap. I know you don't want to buy the single serving of soap out of the vending machine for 12 bucks, but neither do I, that is why I brought soap with me. Luckily, some of the laundry mats in town now offer free soap. The last time someone asked me for soap, before I could start the rant, the woman with 11 loads said, "Ugh!, I hate that kind of soap!"
sneak, tug, roll away
is this one yours? just a sec!
five to one baskets
There are 20 people using 40 washers and dryers, taking up 13 tables. All the while, watching ONE TV and "sharing" FOUR rolling baskets. There is no better social experiment then watching 20 people watch something on TV they all hate, at the risk that someone else is enjoying the program. Listen ma'am, nobody likes the 700 Club, but you. So, if you manage to tear yourself away from Fox News to move your laundry from the washer to the dryer, now you will have to find a basket with wheels. No one wants to use their own flimsy plastic basket for this job, it sits on the floor for god's sake! You've had that thing since freshmen year, it is for getting the clothes to and from the laundry mat and for moving your kitchen shit from apartment to apartment, only. Now, if you find a basket that is not holding (or being held by) someone's coat, purse, and laundry stuff, you grab that thing and don't look back. Throw your clothes in it, ride it around, put a bike lock on it. Every once in a while we make mistakes. I asked a woman if she was using a "free" basket, she said "Not right this second, if you need it for a minute, I don't need it for 10 minutes." She let me "borrow" the basket, only for her to follow me to my washer and dryer and watch as if suddenly I was going to "David Copperfield" the basket out from under her and she would be left to fend for herself. After the last trip, "Are you done?" She then took the basket back to her spot in front of "Family Feud" and the latest Mary Higgins Clark trash, where it sat unused for 20 minutes.
fold the t-shirts, hang
the pants, ball the socks, buttons
zippers, pockets, pink!
The next time I do my laundry I'm turning the TV to the local access channel and using 2 baskets for myself.
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